Wednesday 10 December 2014

The Truth About Emotional Heartbreak


WHEN A HEART IS ‘BROKEN

Greetings brethren! I wish to commence with two distinct messages; what you owe me is to grant me a listening ear. Mind you, failure to be all ears might cost you an irreplaceable fortune. To before warned is to before armed.

First: don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for the great. On the other hand; every scar has a story, so you shouldn’t be afraid to tell it. Yes you ought not to be afraid to surrender any good thing in your possession in order to embrace great ones. Also, you mustn’t shy away from telling a story that you experienced no matter how it pains to do so.

Don’t forget; a person who chases two rabbits concurrently, catches neither. Thus you must let go of one of the rabbits if you really want to catch any. Furthermore, for everything you have lost, you have surely gained something else in return.

If you closely and wisely consider the above statements, you would notice that they are talking about two things. Of course the aforementioned messages are discussing the importance of two major factors, namely: sacrifice and sharing. Yes they are all preaching the essence of sacrifice or sharing, or the need to sacrifice something if you are determined to acquire something else as well as the need for one to share his/her bad experience with someone else.

Believe me, it is important to share a bad or unfair experience with someone because a word of encouragement after failure or having encountered a detour worth more than an hour of praise after success. Therefore share any experience with someone because if you wait until you’re ready, I’m afraid you may be waiting the rest of your life. In the same vein, there’s need to sacrifice something in order to obtain something great or for the sake of embracing the ‘Best’; Abraham laid a good example on sacrifice and we are expected to emulate that.

Three weeks ago, I was opportune to find myself in Abuja – the Nigerian capital territory for a certain convention. During the ceremony, which lasted for forty-eight hours, I ran into a colleague who confided in me and told me that he was passing through a heartbreak due to the ‘heartless’ gesture displayed by his purported fiancée. According to him, the lady in question left him for another man who resides in Germany without any prior notice or signal.

Heartbreak can be described as very great sadness or unhappiness. In other words, a heartbroken person is one who is extremely sad and upset. Among mankind, the term ‘heartbreak’ is often used when one is passing through an emotional trauma having being hurt by his/her love-partner; and this is the area where the context of this edition lies. Let’s ride on!

In recent times, heartbreak attributed to love-affairs has taken a different dimension in such a manner that most youths see it as a way of life. This alarming shape of heartbreak has prompted several reactions and counter-reactions among psychoanalysts. Frankly the ongoing mode of heartbreak as a result of love-affairs has called for urgent attention from all concerned institutions and stakeholders.

In this edition, I only have a candid note for that person who thinks that his heart has broken because he/she is being ‘dumped’ by his/her so called love-partner or fiancée as the case might be. I’m personally more concerned in this aspect because I’m of the view that many people have ended up ostracizing themselves or even committing suicide, all in the name of ‘heartbreak’.

If I may ask, what makes you think that your precious life has come to an end because someone just left it? How could you in your right senses think that someone leaving your life is a sign of ‘End of the road’ or ‘End time’? Don’t you know that someone leaving your life could be a sign of blessing? Thus, it often calls for thanksgiving whenever a certain fellow/partner has left our lives, unless in the case of death or eternal demise.

I know it is not easy to completely forget the good moments you have shared with your loved one, but sometimes we should be ready to let go; because the person’s departure could be an avenue of ushering in a better fellow or the person you’re destined to spend the rest of your life with. Therefore we must always be willing and prepared to sacrifice someone for another. If someone leaves your life, it implies that, he/she doesn’t deserve you; and that’s the way you’re expected to see it, rather than witch-hunting yourself.      

Even if the person left your life due to a spell casted on him/her or as a result of ill-health, the only thing you owe him/her is nothing but prayers. And as you pray, you must remain faithful because faith conquers everything. Believe me, faith is the most ultimate among all spiritual factors; it yields patience, optimism, determination, and what have you. I want you to note that despair is one of the greatest sins, if not the greatest, in existence.

And we ought to endeavour to share our experiences with other persons close to our lives, because a problem shared is half solved. The person you shared your plight with, might be the one that would help you to be free from the trauma. For instance, sharing a spiritual problem with your spiritual director or a man of God is definitely a pathway to solving or unravelling the predicament. Also, sharing your emotional plight with a psychoanalyst or psychologist, or an inspirational tutor, is no doubt an avenue required to solve the problem in question.

If death has robbed you of a partner or a loved one, leave everything for God. After all, He was the one who provided the person for you; so He must have a reason for taking him/her away from your life. Besides, death is a certainty and an inevitable scenario, so we must at all time be ready to absorb the pains it brings.

Sometimes we pour too many words on a certain unfavourable circumstance or whenever we are passing through an emotional trauma, thereby constituting more problems not just for ourselves but for generations yet unborn. Most times the only remedy to a predicament is simply silence and prayer coupled with faith. In most cases, silence is expected to be broken when the person involved intends to share his plight with a concerned fellow or one who could be of help.

Sincerely, it is time we started seeing some estrangement as a mark of blessing. At this point I repeat; don’t be afraid to give up the ‘Good’ and go for the ‘Great’. Think about it.

 

FRED NWAOZOR
+2348028608056     

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