OPINION II Today is Int'l Human Solidarity Day!

CLARION CALL FOR UNDILUTED UNITY AMONG NIGERIANS AS THE 2016 INT’L HUMAN SOLIDARITY DAY IS MARKED ON TUESDAY DECEMBER 20

        

On Tuesday, December 20, the world over is celebrating the 2016 International Human Solidarity Day. The annual International Human Solidarity Day was established on 22^nd December 2005, by the United Nations (UN). Having acknowledged the fact that solidarity is one of the basic and universal values that ought to underlie relations between peoples in the Twenty-First Century, on the aforementioned date, the UN General Assembly decided to proclaim December 20 each year as International Human Solidarity Day.

        

Prior to the adoption of the Day by the UN, by resolution on 20^th December 2002, the General Assembly established the World Solidarity Fund which was duly set up in February 2003 as a trust fund of the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP). Its motive is to eradicate poverty as well as promote social and human development in developing countries, particularly amongst the poorest segments of their populations.

        

Solidarity, in a precise term, can be defined as a complete unity and support among people of a certain group. It can also be addressed as an absolute togetherness showcased by members/occupants of a particular group or locality, as the case might be.

       

Solidarity is identified in the Millennium Declaration as one of the fundamental values of international relations in the twenty-first (21^st) century, wherein those who either suffer or benefit least deserve help or support from those who benefit most. Consequently, in the context of globalization and the challenge of growing inequality, the uplift of international solidarity remains unavoidable.

       

Surely, the concept of solidarity has defined the work of the UN since the birth of the organization. The establishment of the UN drew the peoples and nations of the world together to promote peace, human rights, social and economic developments. The body was founded on a basic premise of unity and harmony among its Member States. It is indeed in the spirit of solidarity that the union relies on cooperation in resolving international plights or misunderstanding of socio-economic, cultural and/or humanitarian origin in order to maintain universal peace and security.

       

Frankly, solidarity is a very vital tool required to solve problems in our interconnected world. We can only reach our shared goals if people are able to participate in the formulation and implementation of plans, policies, programmes, and what have you, to shape our common future, since it is already noted that commitments without empowerment are merely words without meaning.

         

Having noticed that absolute unity is synonymous with solidarity, there is no need reiterating the fact that thorough brotherhood or unity can only be actualized through participation in solidarity-related activities or causes. Thus, adoption of human solidarity by any entity is no doubt a pathway towards actualizing absolute unity, which is no doubt an epitome of exemplary peace and harmony.

        

Since it is apparent that solidarity which guarantees absolute unity is as well a giant step towards alleviating the poverty level of any society, hence there is an urgent need for a right thinking citizen of any poverty-stricken nation such as Nigeria alongside other developing countries across the globe to support the ongoing human solidarity crusade as much as they can. In addition, it is imperative for a country like Nigeria that is currently ravaged by insurgency and other forms of treason to do everything humanly possible to ensure that solidarity among the citizenry becomes the order of the day without much ado.

         

Nigeria can promote thorough brotherhood among her populace by closing the existing gaps including ethnicity, corruption, nepotism, favouritism, religious cum social discrimination, chauvinism, and personal aggrandizement that are invariably found on the country’s socio-political and economic platform. To this end, as the present administration ably led by President Mohammadu Buhari is willing and determined to sweep out corruption, which remains the fundamental bane to unity and societal development, we are cordially expected to rally round the administration with the spirit of solidarity rather than the reverse, with a view to making Nigeria become a country to reckon with in the nearest future.

       

We can contribute our respective quotas by regularly and relentlessly preaching unity in every field of human endeavour we find ourselves, most especially in the schools, markets, worship centres, motor parks, and our immediate communities. More so, parents and guardians ought to sensitize their wards, right from their childhood, on the fact that no one can thrive successfully if he/she chose to stand alone since it is obvious that ‘a tree can never make a forest’.   

       

So, as Nigeria joins the global community to commemorate the annual International Human Solidarity Day, I call on everyone who thinks good of the country to borrow a leaf from the country’s fallen nationalists and heroes to include Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Alhaji Ahmadu Bello, and Chief Tafawa Belewa, just to mention but a few, who believed in the inevitable role of human solidarity in nation building. This is arguably the only way we can actualize undiluted unity among ourselves, which remains the gateway to the long awaited change. Think about it!

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OPINION II How Not To End Recession

HOW NOT TO END RECESSION

       

The last time I checked, people had abruptly become fond of crediting silly jokes, even the one cracked by a-day-old child, to Robert Mugabe – the Zimbabwe president – probably because the said political leader is a known clown. Currently, a day won’t pass without experiencing a certain comic utterance trending on the social media, and when one scrolls down, he would observe the comment is credited to no other person than the man in question.

        

The scenario is related to what is making the rounds in the Nigerian State at the moment. Right now, any misfortune in the country, be it personal or corporate, is wholly attributed to the President Muhammadu Buhari-led government owing to the obvious irregularities the administration is characterized by. No one ought to be penalized for nurturing suchlike insinuation or claim, considering that ‘no smoke without fire’.

        

It would be needless to reiterate that Nigeria is presently undergoing recession that is nearing depression. I’m afraid, if the needful is not put in place as quick as possible, the latter might set in soonest. Hence, sound thinkers cannot fold their arms as the painful and pathetic situation lingers. It is their duty to proffer the needed remedy as well as tender constructive criticism when and where necessary to ensure that the embattled giant of Africa regains its strength.

        

The Federal Government (FG) has promised that the forthcoming 2017 budget, estimated at #7.298 trillion, would pull Nigeria out of recession. This pledge does unequivocally not augur well for the country since the implementation of the 2016 budget of #6.08 trillion is still ongoing, and over 60 per cent of the budget is apparently yet to be implemented. It’s noteworthy that the recession had set in prior to the approval of the 2016 budget; it suffices to say that the said budget ought to possess the capacity to end the lingering pitiable condition.

       

Besides, do not forget in haste that Nigerians were equally promised awhile ago that 2016 budget would end the recession. Intriguingly, the focus has suddenly been shifted to the yet-to-come 2017 budget. How do you reconcile these? This confliction of promises significantly indicates that the actual plight ravaging the country’s economic status is yet to be discovered by those whom are entrusted with the economy. Sure, they may not concur with this candid observation, but it’s a reality.

       

If the truth must be told, I would say the 2016 budget can end this monstrous era once and for all, if the needful is adhered to. Read my lips. The 2016 budget is conspicuously bedevilled by limited funds; hence, the prime problem is not its implementation but how to cough up the required funds. For urgency’s sake, we need to concentrate on realistic issues rather than futuristic ones. This is the only way we can progress, and not regress as it is currently the case. Nigeria has indeed grown of age, thus is required to do things maturely and differently.

        

If we fail to implement the 2016 budget as expected, we will arguably still encounter similar hurdles when the awaited 2017 budget is eventually approved by the National Assembly (NASS). Moreover, a deficit of #2.269 trillion in the 2017 appropriation bill is enough reason to worry about. This implies that Nigeria would continue to live on mere promises whilst thousands of Nigerians are dying and countless firms running into comatose, on a daily basis. Since the NASS is yet to approve the Presidency’s request to borrow $29.9 billion externally, which is in line with the people’s wish, I suggest we look inwards toward sourcing for funds internally. Several stakeholders would be willing to lease, or even donate, to the government; the FG should endeavour to extend hand of fellowship to them; it takes two to tango.

       

Though the FG has thrived relentlessly towards curtailing excesses via the ongoing anti-graft war, a lot still needs to be done. We need to tackle tax evasion headlong by deploying forensic mechanism. Instead of causing the masses more pains by overtaxing them, let’s shift attention to those corporate bodies that have ab initio been dodging payment of taxes. Some inconsequential incentives, such as wardrobe allowance and so on, due most public office holders ought to be put on hold for now till further notice. They should cope with their old wears, or what have you, till we get out of this mess. These measures would enable us to generate huge funds.

       

The FG has often times told Nigerians that the funds returned by the looters were not meant to be utilized since their cases are still in the law court. I beg to differ from this perception. It’s imperative to acknowledge that these monies were not refunded under duress, rather through plea-bargain. So, court proceedings have absolutely nothing to do with monies that were willingly returned by these foes. In fact, the refund is a clear evidence that they are guilty of the crime accused of; in other words, the court hearing is just for an apt conviction to be delivered. Thus, let’s use the funds to service the 2016 budget that is presently wearing a pathetic physiognomy.

        

Above all, we must tackle the ongoing Niger-Delta militancy without further ado. I advocate that the FG should deal directly with the militants, than calling the so-called elders to a roundtable. Hear from the horses’ mouth and stop beating about the bush. We also need to revisit the various existing policies towards making amends. For instance, the oil subsidy has been totally removed from the country’s budgets, hence, there’s a compelling need for a sound alternative policy in this regard. Similarly, President Buhari also needs to reshuffle his cabinet having observed that most of his allies aren’t currently serving where they are meant to.

       

Before I round off, I want to solicit that governments at all levels should, henceforth, start taking the Nigeria’s fiscal year seriously to enable them plan ahead. The country’s fiscal year is between January and December of each Gregorian calendar year. An appropriation bill ought to be ready before august of every year, so that before the end of November, it would be passed as budget by the legislature for the incoming year. Let’s focus on realistic issues, and jettison frivolous ones. Think about it!

 

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OPINION II How Realistic are the Awaited LG Polls in Imo?

HOW REALISTIC ARE THE AWAITED LG POLLS IN IMO?

       

The last time I checked, Imolites in their entirety were earnestly awaiting the conduct of local government elections in the state, expected to be carried out by the state’s electoral commission (ISIEC). It isn’t anymore news that few months ago the governor, Chief Rochas Okorocha disclosed that the said election would unfailingly be conducted in January 2017, a decision reportedly informed by the unanimous resolution reached by the State Executive Council (SEC).

       

The Nigeria’s political system is being perceived as one that does not reverence the constitution. This is the reason a state like Imo could stay for over nine consecutive years without boasting of substantive local government chairmen; it is the reason a budget would be approved by the legislature for a certain fiscal year and throughout the affected year, over sixty per cent (60%) of the budget would not be implemented; it is why a vice-chancellor of a given university would exhaust his/her five-year tenure or thereabouts without executing at least a tangible project on the campus, yet he/she wouldn’t be probed by the concerned government.

      

Though Imolites have been promised that the conduct of the polls is actualizable come January 2017, they are still sceptical over the pledge. The scepticism was occasioned by the obvious fact that that wasn’t the first time such promise would be made, yet absolutely nothing was done afterwards. Sure, Imolites likewise citizens of other states passing through similar fate, have endured enough that they deserve an award. But, would they continue to persevere?

      

The way and manner most state governors handle LG matters have made me to see the awaited Imo LG polls as a mirage. It sounds non-realistic to my person, and of course to any other concerned fellow, because such an issue has never been taken seriously since the reign of the immediate past governor – Chief Ikedi Ohakim – till date, let alone this recessionary era. Hence, awaiting January 2017 towards witnessing the elections, is unequivocally not unlike building castle in the air.

       

However, it’s pertinent to acknowledge that all hope is not lost, thus needless to despair. Conduct of the polls come next month wouldn’t be far-fetched provided we are committed. It is just a matter of being transparent as well as standing by nothing but the truth. The electorate need to comprehend the real state of things, and they can’t if the picture is not presented to them in an elaborate form. Let’s give them that sense of belonging, so that, they can even help the government to do the thinking.

      

I might be sounding abstract but the truth is, we need to hold the bull by the horn. Beating about the bush would cause more harm than the anticipated good. All the aggrieved parties ought to be brought to a roundtable, so we can address this once and for all. We can’t continue to put the blame on a certain individual or group while the state continues to suffer. We shouldn’t continue deceiving ourselves and allow Imo wallow in pains. It is high time the deceit stopped for the sake of the state at large.

      

The above instruction became consequential because if truly the LG polls would be held by the aforementioned period, or anytime within the first quarter of 2017,  by now, primary elections ought to have been conducted by the various political parties involved; series of electioneering campaigns should be in the air; electoral debates ought to be the order of the day. I stand to be corrected if I have goofed.

      

Funnily enough, new Transition Committee (TC) chairmen were recently installed by the governor, and probably more would still be replaced in the nearest future. Or maybe, the new chairmen are the ones to conduct the awaited elections. Whatever the case might be, time is conspicuously two short for reshuffling if really we are determine to get it right come January next year.

      

Let’s not indulge in a practice that would make the governed overlook the government. The government is meant to be taken seriously by the people but in a situation whereby the former continually displays nonchalant attitudes, I’m afraid, the latter would be forced to start taking it (the former) for granted. Governance requires a two-way participation where the leaders and the followers are expected to engage in serious cooperation; but if any side is being sidelined, it becomes a problem to the society.

       

Come to think of it, are Imolites really prepared to witness the polls in question? Everyone appeared so docile and less-concerned. Is it an indication that they have forgotten about it, or have lost hope in the government? It would interest, perhaps shock you to note that only few states across the federation have conducted their LG elections, but if you visit any of the states that are yet to conduct theirs, the electorate seem relaxed and lackadaisical. This should be one of the prime reasons the concerned governments don’t take the issue seriously. It pisses my psyche profoundly each time I realize that I belong to one of the affected states.

       

Nevertheless, I’m using this medium to humbly appeal to the amiable governor of the ‘Eastern Heartland’ to please, understand that the conduct of these polls is long overdue. The prolonged suspense is indeed deeply telling on me alongside Imolites of like minds. I wouldn’t like to continue sounding personal in regard to this anomaly, as it is making me appear more sensitive. Think about it! 

 

Comrade Fred Doc Nwaozor

-Political/Public Affairs Analyst & Civil Rights Activist-
@mediambassador  
http://facebook.com/fred4nwaozor            

 

 

      

Nigeria, Fast Becoming Synonymous with ills

NIGERIA, FAST BECOMING SYNONYMOUS WITH ILLS

        

In my church, Catholic precisely, a prayer for ‘Nigeria in distress’ is being said for decades now. I grew up to join the chorus; suffice it to say that the prayer had been existing since I was born, or prior to my existence if I’m not mistaken. Hence, I kept wondering if Nigeria would remain in distress unabated. The religious devotion is already overriding the country’s national anthem, which implies that the distress in question is getting out of hand.

       

If your thought is as good as mine, why would anyone be doubtful of the relevance of such prayer? All forms of social ills to include student cultism, exam practices, kidnapping, robbery, pick pocketing, rape, incest, drug addiction, cheating, and even household lies, have abruptly overtaken the wellbeing of Nigeria’s polity. The value system has arguably fast deteriorated. Hence, asserting that the country is uncontrollably suffering from distress isn’t an overstatement, rather understatement.

       

What is more baffling as regards the pitiable situation is that most parents, perhaps vulnerable ones, claim ignorance of their wards’ dirty lifestyles. For instance, those whom their children are ostensibly progressive and keep showering with ‘tainted’ love wouldn’t hesitate to tell you, when asked, that their son is doing very well in his business – even when they are unsure. A non-vulnerable or more informed parent could go extra mile to ascertain what his/her child does for a living.

 

However, when you look inwards, you would comprehend that presenting vulnerability as an excuse is a product of ills. There’s no caring and sane parent that wouldn’t be concerned about their child’s safety. In other words, any rational human progenitor would stop at nothing towards ensuring that their offspring are all into occupation or activity that wouldn’t attract rot to their persons in the long run.

       

So, it’s only a corrupt and weird parent that would prefer to display a nonchalant attitude in issues regarding their child’s wellbeing. Such parents wouldn’t bother to find out what exactly that’s yielding their son’s wealth. All they care about is for the money to keep flowing, so he would continue showering them with ‘love’. And if the chap in question is a cultist, someday he would be probably asked to offer his either parents’ head for ritual renewal. If he is an armed robber, he might equally consider robbing his parental home.

        

The type occurring in the education sector is unspeakable, to assert the least. Our young ones, now, no longer sit for their examinations without concealing microchips in their private parts, or the assistance of mercenary, as the case may be. In most secondary schools across the federation, mainly privately owned ones, questions from external examiners like WAEC, NECO, NABTEB, or what have you, are not anymore attended to by the candidates they are meant for, rather the teachers of the affected schools.

        

In some quarters where the schools do not want the practice to appear obvious or intend to apply a little decency, they would turn the examination format to teacher-student cooperation whereby the candidate would be apparently seated on the exam desk while his/her tutor would be functioning like a standby generator. Funnily enough, this disgusting melodrama does not take place without the approval of the exam’s supervisor; needless to reiterate that it’s a two-way thing. Sure, things are no longer at ease.

        

Have you taken a walk to most universities lately? They currently parade themselves with countless ‘First Class’ products as if Nigeria has more good brains now than before. Of course, it isn’t longer news that a primary school-leaver during the days of my father can compete confidently, or even supersede, most present days’ university graduates. Besides, during my university days, I was told by an astute teacher that no department in any Nigerian institution has the capacity to produce first class graduates.

        

According to the professor, it wasn’t that the country didn’t have good brains but considering that its universities lacked the required facilities, it could not boast of first class products that could compete with the world. I personally concurred, but recently I came to realize that Nigerian universities were producing first class materials in accordance with the available facilities and manpower, and not products that could fit anywhere beyond the country. Even at that, are they supposed to be making it seem as if they are competing among themselves with regard to the number of first class graduates to be produced per session? The scenario indeed calls for a deep thought.

       

I can’t but continue to wonder where exactly we are headed. I’m right now pouting seriously. Someone would relentlessly lament that our politicians are densely corrupt, but when one looks inwardly, he would acknowledge that the level of corruption among the followers is overwhelming. Even household corruption has overridden others. Go to the market places, and you would observe countless antics transpiring on a daily basis; it’s a place where a seller wouldn’t mind using his/her customer for ritual, and albeit ignorantly the latter would yet presume he/she is being pampered. An average seller would consistently cheats his customer, still, addresses him as his loved one.

       

Every moment we complain profusely over graft, forgetting that the prevalence of corruption by non-public servants is fast dominating the system. The awaited change, surely, must begin with each of us. Think about it! 

 

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Technical Intricacy of Modern Education

TECHNICAL INTRICACY OF MODERN EDUCATION

        

Education can be described as the imparting and acquiring of knowledge via teaching and learning, especially at a school or similar institution. In the words of G. K. Chesterton ‘Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.’ No wonder every sane and rational society treats it as the fundamental factor required toward any meaningful development.

      

The earliest educational processes involved sharing information about gathering food and providing shelter; making weapons and other tools; learning language; and acquiring the values, behaviour, as well as religious rites or practices of a given culture. Prior to the invention of writing and reading, people lived in an environment in which they struggled to survive against natural forces, animals, and other humans. At the time, to survive, preliterate individuals developed skills that grew into cultural and educational patterns.

        

Education emanated from the human struggle for survival and enlightenment. It might be formal or informal. The latter refers to the general social process by which human beings acquire the knowledge and skills needed to function in their culture. Whilst, formal education refers to the process through which teachers instruct pupils or students, as might be the case, in subjects of study within institutions.

      

The modern day education makes one feel proud that s/he is truly educated, though formally or informally, everyone is educated. The real education, which is the overall development of mind, body and soul, can be acquired via any means. According to Carter Woodson, ‘Education means to inspire people to live more abundantly, to learn to begin with life as they find it and make it better.’

        

It’s noteworthy that modern education is aided with a variety of technology comprising computers, projectors, internet, and calculators, among others; this fact forms the basis of this discussion. Everything that can be simplified has been made simpler by introduction of the aforementioned gadgets into the modern day education. Science has obviously explored every aspect of human life; it suffices to say that there is now much to learn as well as more to assimilate. Internet alone provides abysmal knowledge, meaning literally that there’s no end to it.

        

Skill development and vocational education has added a new feather to the modern system of education. There is something to learn for everyone. Even an infant these days goes to a kindergarten. And a little grown – mentally and physically – is promoted to a nursery. The most fascinating part is that everything is being categorized ranging from kindergarten, nursery, primary, secondary, to tertiary; and each of these stages has a certain set of technical acquaintances. The truth is, modern pattern of education is a never-ending process. Aristotle Nicomachus stated that ‘Education is an ornament in prosperity and a refugee in adversity.’ This is exactly what modern education represents.       

        

However, it’s pertinent to acknowledge that the existing technical intricacy of modern education has caused colossal harm to the present days children. For instance, before now, devices such as abacus were used during Mathematics classes. Such an approach helped tremendously to educate the kids – ranging from ages 6 to 14 – on mental arithmetic, a knowledge that enables them to face any form of Mathematics problem in the future. But now, except in countries like India, Russia, China, Ghana, and what have you that still use counting frame or abacus, calculator has suddenly overtaken its use in Nigeria. Worse still, even primary school pupils are now exposed to scientific calculators.

         

Modern education has deprived most learners the opportunity of seeing the real events or scenes. Engineering students, for example, only see pictures of what is being taught, or what is expected to be produced by them. Final year undergraduates, and perhaps postgraduate students, presently do their projects or theses by merely downloading the required materials from the net. Most students don’t even know where the fabric they are wearing came from. The word ‘how’ is currently missing in our world, which causes ignorance.

         

Modern education has succeeded in spreading more ignorance than knowledge. It has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. Learners do more of cramming rather than memorizing, which can only be achieved by getting close to facts or the actual pictures. Albert Einstein once said ‘Education is that which remains if one has forgotten everything learned in school.’

        

For the technical intricacies involved in modern education to be advantageous to the learners, they must serve as supplements. They ought to be used for reference purposes. The pupils/students must get used to the real pictures or sites before introducing the use of tech gadgets to them. Their brains shouldn’t be complicated with those stuffs at early stage. These brains are still fragile, thus ought not to be juxtaposed with tech intricacies. More so, endeavour to let the practical segment be preceded by theory.

       

We must note that every invention was made for a purpose, and to be applied at a particular time. So if we end up misusing them, it becomes a problem when they are meant to serve as blessing. Think about it!  

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Facebook Palaver II

FACEBOOK PALAVER (II)

      “What have you done to me?” Abigail ranted, hastily stood up, got dressed and furiously dashed out of the room.

      Metu joined her in his shorts as she was about leaving the main entrance to the apartment. “Please, I am sorry.” He uttered, attempted holding her left hand.

      She abruptly stopped. “Don’t you dare touch me.” She warned, fiercely looking into his eyes.

      “Please, I am very sorry.” He reiterated in false pretence.

      “Shit,” she lamented. “I never knew I have been dealing with a monster.” She said, gushed out tears.

      “Baby, I am really sorry,” he lied. “I don’t know what came over me.”

      “Mark today’s date,” quoth Abigail. “Henceforth, you shall never know peace in your life.” She cursed, eventually dashed out and forcedly jammed the door.

      “To hell with your curse!” Metu trivialized as he stood behind the door. “Nah today..?” he added in vernacular, meaning literally he wasn’t a new breed in the game, thus stood to fear nothing.

                           * * * * * *

      When Abigail got to her school lodge on that fateful day being Sunday, at about 5.20pm, she wasn’t herself, couldn’t believe she was actually a victim of a monstrous act she had forbade right from her childhood. It kept ringing on her innocent mind like a mere dream as she lay weirdly in her humble bed.

      “Are you alright?” Her roommate – Kate – inquired the moment she stepped into the room having been away since morning after her church service.

      Abigail couldn’t utter a word, really appeared pale and depressed in the bed.

      Kate, who needn’t be told that all wasn’t well, hurriedly sat on the bed, gripped by fear “Abi baby.” she tenderly called, looking into her eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”

       “I am fine.” She managed to say.

       “No, you are not,” quarreled Kate. “This is not you.”

        Abigail gushed out tears uncontrollably.

       “What is wrong with you?”

       “He raped me…!” she cried out.

       “He wha..t?”

        Abigail nodded.

       “Oh my God!” Kate screamed, stood up roughly. “You mean that bastard raped you..?” she ranted, gesticulating.

        Abigail kept sobbing.

       “How come?” enquired Kate. “How did it happen?”

       “He drugged me…” she cried out again.

       “You see,” said Kate. “I warned you but you wouldn’t listen.”

        She had earlier discouraged Abigail from embarking on the journey, stating it was too early and spontaneous for her to pay him a visit. However, in order not to begin with blame, she squatted and started wiping the tears with her bare hands. “I am so sorry, okay?”

        Abigail nodded in appreciation.

       “I bet you,” quoth Kate. “He must pay for this.”

       “Please, forget about him,” pleaded Abigail. “God will judge him.”

       “I am surprised at you,” quoth Kate. “I should forget about a man who did this to you?”

       Abigail nodded. “I don’t want my parents to know about this.”

       Kate was arrested by the last clause; hence, she jettisoned her thought of revenge immediately. She sat on the bed again and began to console her.

        * * * * * *

       “Hi dear!” Metu greeted while online, Facebook precisely.

        He just initiated a chat, as usual, with one of his newest female friends. This was happening barely forty-eight hours after his rift with Abigail. Before this time, the said lady had cancelled their friendship on the platform, thus they were not seeing each other’s account any more.

       “Hello.” she replied.

       “You are looking very beautiful, I must confess.” Metu flattered.

       “Really?”

       “Yea,” he typed. “From what I am seeing, there is no doubt about that.”

       “Okay ooh,” she wrote. “Thanks”

       “You are welcome.” He said, glanced at her profile name once again. “I am Ken. You?” he typed, ignoring her account name which read thus ‘Madu Nkiru Jovita’.

       “Nkiru.” She responded.

       “Alright,” he said. “So, you’re Igbo?”

       “Yep.”

       “What part?” he said. “I mean, which state? He supplemented.

       “Enugu.” She typed. “You?”

       “Abia.” quoth Metu. “Where do you stay?” He added in a jiffy.      

       “Calabar.”

       “Waoow.” he exclaimed. “Same here.”

       “Interesting.” enthused Nkiru.

       “You can say that again.” quoth the play boy. “So, what are you doing in Calabar?” He typed hesitantly.

       “Fashion designing.”

       “That’s lovely.”

       “Thanks.” she appreciated. “And you?”

       “I am into contracts.”

       “What type?”

       “Engineering and environmental.”

       “Ok.” She wrote.

       “Please, how old are you?” Metu inquired.

       “Why ask?”

       “Just wish to know; nothing more”

       “Ok, I am 29.” she typed. “And you?”

       “36.”     

        The chat took almost two hours before she excused him, claiming she was feeling asleep. It ended at about 8pm.

       The following week, Nkiru as she called herself landed in Metu’s apartment, which was about ten kilometers (10km) away from her residence.

       When the prospective host opened the door to usher her in, he was so overwhelmed over what he saw. She was exemplarily beautiful and endowed – fair, plump, and about 1.86 metres tall; among all, her boobs, hips, and bum were all abound and well positioned. She put on a bluish mini gown, well plaited hairs, black flat-heeled shoes, various jewelleries and designer perfume; her dress was obviously showcasing her endowments. She looked very sophisticated. “Wow, I am short of words.” He managed to utter, closed the door having ushered her in.

        She dished out an innocent smile. “What’s wrong?” she pretended.

       “You are looking extremely marvelous.”

       “Sure?”

       “Of course.” He replied as they walked towards the lounge room.

       They both assumed their seats. They sat on the same chair; a 3-in-1 cushion. “You are highly welcome, my dear.” He said elatedly, kept his eyes fixed at her magnificent ‘onions’ which were so glaring.

       “Thank you.”

       “So, what do I offer you?”

       “Stout or wine.”

       “Alright,” he said, stood up. “Please give me a few seconds.”

       “No problem.” She responded, smiling.

        Metu walked into his cookery and returned in one minute’s time with two canned stouts. He served her, placed the other one on the side-stool sited where he was seated, and resumed his seat.

       Few minutes on, the august visitor seemingly felt asleep, thus she lay on the cushion placing her head on Metu. No doubt, he had drugged her as his tradition demanded.

       He couldn’t wait, hence took her to his inner chamber, laid the body on the bed and started undressing her.

       Intriguingly, in the process, the supposedly drugged lady metamorphosed into a mighty snake. Little did he know that the so-called Nkiru was a ghost.

       Metu, who couldn’t withstand his sight, shouted at the top of his voice and attempted to escape in his boxers. As he was about being on his feet, the weird snake swallowed him and instantly vanished into thin air.

      That was the end of Metu Okafor – the so-called Ken Williams – and his generation yet unborn.

      Truly, one bad turn deserves another. Or, what do you have to say? Think about it!

 

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Facebook Palaver

FACEBOOK PALAVER

     “This Facebook is so boring today.” Metu thought, felt disappointed.

       The 36-year-old Metu, who was still a bachelor, had been a freak of the popular social media platform - Facebook – for years. There was no day that passed that he wouldn’t sacrifice at least three consecutive hours for chatting alongside other available informal activities. He was obviously a handsome and promising young man, and his pictures cum profile could attest to it, thus no one that came across his account that wouldn’t wish to engage him on a prolonged chat.

      The remarkable thing about him was that, rather than looking out for every inspiring and entertaining aspect of the platform, each time he came online, he was particularly interested in pictures posted by his new female pals so that he would compliment them and engage the owner on an unscheduled chat. Suffice it to say that, he felt more comfortable and relaxed chatting with female folks; and there was no lady he sent a message to that hesitated replying owing to the charming attribute of his image.

       So, whenever there was no one of opposite gender to hook-up with, he got embarrassed and depressed. That was exactly how he felt on that Saturday evening as he lay in his bed in his one-bedroom-flat apartment situated in Calabar, the capital territory of Cross-River State, Nigeria. He had already spent almost an hour to no avail, yet his expectation remained high; he couldn’t afford to go offline without sending at least ‘hi’ to a damsel.

       Few seconds later having been exhausted, though still agile to mingle, four gorgeously looking portraits were posted by one of his new female pals on her wall. He quickly glanced at each of them, liked them and dropped a comment. His comment read thus ‘These are indeed pictures belonging to an African queen.’

      In a few minutes time, the lady responded ‘Thank you so much.’

      He never bothered dropping further comment on the pictures, instead he thought it wise to send a message to her inbox; hence, he wrote ‘Hi pretty!’

      “Hello handsome!” she jovially replied in a jiffy.

      Metu smiled. “I must confess,” he said “this Facebook is meant for people like you.” He hinted, hastily perused her profile to ascertain the prospect of the intended relationship.

      The profile indicated that she was equally a resident of Calabar, thus he felt so elated.

      “How do you mean?” she verified.

      “I meant, beautiful damsels like you.”

       Probably she smiled. “Are u sure?” she wrote.

      “Of course,” quoth Metu. “Absolutely sure.”

      “I’m flattered.”

      “Please don’t be.” he urged. “That’s what you are.”

      “Thanks.”

      “U’re welcome.” He typed, took a quick look at her name as written on the account. “So, what do I call you?” he enquired, ignoring her Facebook name – Abigail Johnson.

       “Abigail.”

       “Ok, I wanted to be sure.” he wrote. “You know, most people don’t use their real names on Facebook.”

       “Sure?”

       “Yes,” quoth Metu. “Especially ladies.”

       “Hmmm.” she typed. “Why?”  

       “Reasons best known to them.”

       “Alright.” quoth Abigail. “So, you are Ken, right?” she verified based on his profile name, which was ‘Ken Williams’.

       “Yea,” he lied. “Ken Williams.” He added.

        Fascinatingly, his real name was Metu Okafor.

       “Alright.” said Abigail.

       “Please,” Metu wrote. “how old are you?”

       “25.” Abigail responded. “You?” she added.

       “36.”

       “Waoow,” she typed. “You’re an old man oh!”

       “I quite agree with you.”

       “So, are you not married?”

       “Not yet.”

       “Still searching?”

       “Yep.” He replied. “So, what do you do?” he added in a jiffy.

       “Student.”

       “School?”

       “UniCal.” she replied, meaning University of Calabar.

       “Discipline?”

       “BF.” She wrote, meaning Banking and Finance.

       “Interesting.” Metu complimented. “What level?” he added.

       “400.”

       “So, you’re in your final year?”

       “Yea.”

       “Waoooow,” he typed. “I never knew I have been chatting with a big girl.”

       Perhaps she smiled. “Thanks.” she appreciated. “So, what do you do?” She added.

       “I am an engineering contractor.”

       “You must be a big man.” She teased.

       “By God’s grace.”

       “You live in Calabar too?” Abigail enquired, ignoring his profile which indicated he was a resident of the city in question.

       “Yep.” he clarified.

        The chatting, which spanned over hours, lingered till night.

        In barely two days time, they became best of friends on Facebook that they could spend several hours chatting about frivolous issues. Sometimes, he would even sound so romantic and vulgar without minding that they were yet to meet, let alone becoming real intimate friends. Funnily enough, she would respond accordingly without picking any offence; in other words, she was enjoying every bit of his company all along as if she was being charmed.

       The following week, he invited her over to his apartment, and she succumbed without even considering using delay tactics, which were synonymous with ladies. By her mode of respond, he understood she longed for the invitation.

                                  * * * * * *

       “Oh, my God ..!” Metu exclaimed on sighting Abigail as he opened his door to welcome her having received a knock. “You are indeed prettier than you look on Facebook.”

       She was dark, slim and about 5.5-foot tall, and was irresistibly beautiful. She wore ash jeans trousers, pink top coupled with pink high-heeled sandals, and ash handbag. Her hairs were newly and gorgeously plaited; it seemed she plaited the hairs purposely for the outing.

       She smiled, remained speechless, and was equally moved by his handsome look.

       He was fair, plump, about 5.8-foot tall, and was clad in white Pajamas spotted with red flowers.

       They majestically walked to the parlour and sat adjacent to each other. “You are highly welcome!” Metu exclaimed.

      “Thank you.” she appreciated, smiling.

      “Please, what do I offer you?”

      “No, don’t bother.”

      “How do you mean?” he frowned. “This is your first time in my house for crying out loud.”

      “Okay, any soft.”

      “Alright,” he said. “Please, give me some seconds.” He enjoined, stood up and walked away.

       Few minutes later, he returned with two canned malts for himself and the guest.

       While taking the drink, she slept off right in the brownish settee where she was seated.

       Sure, he had drugged her, as usual. Metu wasn’t new in the game; that was the umpteenth time he would indulge himself in such ungodly act. His womanizing nature was the sole reason he never bothered settling down, and that was also why he was making use of fake names on social media.

       In about an hour’s time, Abigail woke up only to find herself in his bed covered merely with a wrapper. She felt so exhausted, ashamed and flabbergasted.

      “Wha…t?” she shouted. “Where am I?”

        It was unarguably the most devastating and horrific moment in her entire life.

       Metu who lay right beside her in his purplish shorts, looked at her and kept calm, though felt guilty.

       What happened thereafter was more terrifying. You can’t afford to miss it! Meanwhile, if you were in her shoes, what would be your reaction afterwards? Think about it!

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