Sunday, 4 December 2016

Irony of Life

IRONY OF LIFE

      “Hi!” Ikenna exclaimed in a high tone amidst an overwhelming crowd.

      “Hello!” Nkiru responded reluctantly.

       Ikenna quickly walked closer to her, “I must confess,” He said, smiling. “You are truly a pretty damsel.”

       “Thank you.” Nkiru appreciated.

       “Are you from this town?” He asked, looking into her sexy eyes.

       “Yes.”

        Both of them were in a dancing mood.

        It was during a traditional marriage ceremony between Chukwuma and Adaora. Chukwuma happened to be Ikenna’s cousin as well as childhood friend, while Adaora was Nkiru’s cousin sister. Chukwuma and Adaora hail from neighbouring clans.

        Ikenna was a promising and handsome young man based in Germany, Europe. He was a renowned Casanova who was enjoying his bachelorhood in his early forties. He actually came back to Nigeria for the said event.

        There was no one in Umuokirika - the town where Ikenna hails from, who was yet to know about him due to his flamboyant lifestyle. He was a rascal to the core and never cared about what people say about his person. Prior to that marriage ceremony, during his numerous previous visits to Nigeria, he had succeeded in tendering marriage proposal to over fifteen ladies both in his home town and in the Diaspora. Surely, he was indeed a notable play boy and a notorious personality.

         He came across Nkiru when both of them were dancing at the centre of the gathering alongside the couple. There is no need saying that he was what any lady would like to behold just for a second considering his costly appearance at the occasion, and Nkiru was not an exception. When other dignitaries who rushed to the dance floor to cheer with the couple were busy spraying Naira notes, he was obviously showering the couple with hard currencies including US dollars and Euros.

       “Please, can we see by the corner?” He urged Nkiru.

        “Alright,” She said. “Just give me few seconds, I will join you later.”

        On receiving the warmth response, Ikenna – a dark, plump and an average man dressed in a grey caftan and white leather slippers, quickly but stylishly walked out from the crowd to a tranquil arena where he could have a word with the incoming victim.

        Within a few seconds, the chocolate-coloured, slim and tall looking lady clad in a blue mini-skirt, pink top and a pair of pink shoes who seemed to be in her early thirties, joined him at the serene arena as she promised. She was really cute in her dress.

        “I’m Ikenna.” He said leaning on his black Lexus Jeep as soon as she stepped closer to him. “From Umuokirika, the neighbouring town.”

        “Are you Chukwuma’s brother?”

        “Yes,” He said. “He’s my cousin brother and childhood friend.”

         “Interesting.” Nkiru exclaimed, nodding.

         “So, what do I call you?”

         “Nkiru.” She replied.

         “That’s a lovely name.” He complimented.

          “Thanks.”

          “Like I said earlier,” Ikenna continued. “You’re a very beautiful lady.” He said. Paused. “I will like to know more about you.

           Nkiru smiled. She needed not a prophet to interpret to her what the young man was up to.

           “Can we meet tomorrow?” He requested. “At Hilltop Bar.”

            Hilltop Bar was one of the most exotic and expensive beer parlours at Umuofeka – the town where Nkiru hails from, and its environs.

          “Okay.” She admitted. “What time?”

          “4pm.” He said. “Would that be okay by you?”

          “Yes.” She acknowledged, nodding.

          “So, we have a deal then?” Ikenna said.

           “Definitely.”       

         As soon as they departed, a lady Ojiugo who was spying at them from afar walked up to Nkiru and told her all she needed to know about Ikenna. Ojiugo hails from the same clan with Ikenna, so she was in good position to know everything concerning Ikenna’s promiscuous lifestyle.

         Having gotten the clue from the God-sent, Nkiru thought it wise to be very careful with her relationship with Ikenna.

         After a few days, having met at Hilltop as scheduled, Ikenna and Nkiru became best of friends to the envy of other ladies, though Nkiru was still skeptical over Ikenna’s purported commitment, thus she took the affair as a ‘spare tyre’.

         Amazingly, as days unfold the relationship became more serious, that, Ikenna decided to postpone his return trip to Germany. At a point, he willingly made up his mind to quit bachelorhood for the sake of the relationship, coupled with the overwhelming pressure he was receiving from his parents. Against this backdrop, he concluded to shun promiscuity; a decision that made him to become a totally new person.

         On one fateful day, he tendered a marriage proposal to Nkiru who was unaware of his recent resolution, right in his sitting room; but she couldn’t believe the proposal was coming from a man who really wanted to settle down having heard that he had proposed over fifteen ladies in the past. Rather, she saw it as one of his past numerous false and deceptive proposals; therefore she asked him to give her some time to think about it.

         Though Nkiru never caught Ikenna with any other lady but the information she had received on his lifestyle remained a reference point to her.  

        After some days, she tentatively concurred with the proposal.

        There was a chap known as Emeka whom Nkiru was lavishing Ikenna’s fortune on. Both of them were school mates; they were studying in the same University. All the money Ikenna was giving to her was actually diverted to Emeka’s pulse unknowingly to Ikenna. The scenario continued till one fateful day when Ikenna paid her a surprising visit at where she lives on campus.

        He actually took her unawares.

        The moment Nkiru opened her room entrance having heard series of knock at the door, what the incoming groom (Ikenna) saw was tantamount to taking him to his early grave. He sighted a guy who was putting on only Boxers lying freely in his supposed fiancee’s bed.  On the other hand, Nkiru who never knew that Ikenna was the person at the door was clad only in a bedroom wrapper.

        Ikenna initially thought he was daydreaming until every bit of the drama became very obvious to him.

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