I thought it wise that it was high time I
did something on the aforementioned factor, reciprocity, which has been
profoundly misunderstood, misused as well as abused in various quarters thereby
posing unquantifiable threat to the society at large. The last time I checked,
most of the plights we faced here on earth were not unconnected to the
invariable misuse of the factor in question.
Lest I forget;
reciprocity can simply be referred to as the practice or act of exchanging
things with others for mutual benefit, such as the privileges granted by one
individual, organization or society to another.
In social
psychology, reciprocity is a social rule that says we ought to repay, either in
kind or cash, what another person or organization as the case may be has
provided us. That is; the need for people to give back the kind of treatment
they have received from others.
To make it
clearer; by virtue of the rule of reciprocity, we are obligated to repay
favours, gifts, invitations, grants, loans, and what have you, as the case
might be, in future or subsequently. For instance; if someone we invited to our
birthday party or get-together buys us a gift or graced the occasion with a
gift, we are expected to do the same when the time for their birthday comes.
There are no two ways about it.
This sense of
future obligation associated with reciprocity makes it possible to build
continuing relationships and exchanges. Reciprocal actions of this nature are
very important to social psychology as they can help explain the maintenance of
social norms. Someone who violates the reciprocity tradition by accepting
without making effort to return the good gestures of others is usually disliked
by the social group; often times, he/she is best described as an ingrate.
Individuals who
benefit from a social group’s resources without contributing any skills,
assistance or resources of their own in return, are in most cases addressed as
‘free riders’. Both individuals and groups often punish free riders, directly
or indirectly, even when the penalty results in considerable costs to the
affected group or individual. So, it is not surprising that most rational or
logical individuals will go an extra mile to avoid being regarded as a
freeloader, moocher or ingrate.
Mind you; reciprocal gestures differ slightly
from altruistic gestures.Reciprocity is mainly the act of repaying someone or a
group for what they have done for you. Whilst, altruism is not act of
repayment, or expectation of something similar orgreater in the future.
Although both are worthwhile and acceptable gestures but it is noteworthy to
comprehend the dichotomy between them.
Reciprocity is majorly requiredin any
relationship, be it informal, business or social, towards its sustenance. But
we need to understand that there are two major classes of relationship in
existence which are parasitic relationship and symbiotic relationship. In the
former, which is a one-sided relationship, only one party or either party
benefits from the other; while in the latter, both parties benefit mutually
from each other.
However, the fact is that; even in
parasitic relationship, there’s an element of reciprocity which could be
seemingly infinitesimal. Needless to say that, reciprocity remains inevitable
toward the sustenance of any form of ongoing relationship.
Let me quickly
intimate us on the precise and unequivocal statement that was made on Saturday
December 5, 2015 by the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (UK), David
Cameron on his twitter handle in respect to the recent Paris terror attack. In
his words, the leader in question succinctly said, “If I could just remind France
when they asked us to go to war with them… when Scotland needed them at the
battle of Derby, they let us down.” The rest is history.
The bone of
contention is that we must not feel insouciant over reciprocity in any field of
endeavour we find ourselves. In the political terrain, if a political aspirant
eventually won an election, he/she is indeed expected to reciprocate to the
good gestures they received from the electorate at the polls by ensuring that
good governance prevails during their reign. Hence, they mustn’t betray them
(the followers) while they lead. This very factor, which signifies the essence
of reciprocity, is no doubt obligatory; but it is quite appalling that most of
our politicians see it as elective or optional.
Similarly, in an
emotional relationship otherwise known as ‘love affair’, or even in marriage,
if one of the partners involved showers the other with enormous and genuine
love, courtesy demands that the recipient of such kind gesture would
reciprocate accordingly in his/her own little way. This implies that both
parties are meant to be beneficiaries of the relationship.
Business relationship
isn’t left out while discussing reciprocity. The moment a partner in a business
relationship introduces cheating, that would significantly mark the beginning
of the downfall of that relationship. Likewise in a bilateral relationship
between two countries, the norm of reciprocity is obviously expected to be
abided by both countries involved; else, a doomed state awaits either or both
parties.
Even when you
give money or gift to a beggar in the street, you are no doubt expecting the reciprocity
of the kind gesture; yes, we render such help with the view that God would
bless us in return. Suffice it to say; whatever love we showcase to the
less-privileged we do so in expectation of God’s infinite blessings. Sociology
tells us that we don’t just give; hence, we give for a tangible purpose or
reason.
Most importantly, we often tend to forget
that greeting itself is reciprocal. Of course, it takes two to tango; thus, for
greeting to take place anywhere, anytime, it takes the consent of the parties
involved. It’s very amusing that most times, people especially in the
contemporary African society are of the view that the younger or junior person
as the case may be is the only one expected to tender a greeting to the older
or senior person respectively. That is completely an awkward ideology and this
is why we severally misunderstand ourselves when it calls for greeting/salutation.
We really need to note that, much as the younger/junior person is meant to forward
his/her greeting to the older/senior, the anticipated greeting would be
needless if the supposed recipient is not ready to receive the said salutation.
Summarily, the both parties/individuals involved irrespective of their ages or
hierarchy must agree for any greeting to take place. Hence greeting requires an
agreement and it’s obvious that the latter requires two or more persons.
Agreement is very vital because if I greet you, I equally expect you to respond
cheerfully and open-heartedly or vice-versa; and that’s the reciprocity.
Unequivocally, we often encounter series
of tribulations in our various relationships owing to the fact that we end up
abusing or misusing reciprocity at the long run. For our relationships to be
duly sustained or grow healthily, we ought to endeavour to acknowledge that
reciprocity, which we must abide by, is not just a veritable factor but not
unlike a law initiated by nature itself. Think about it!
Comr
Fred Doc Nwaozor
Follow: @mediambassador 
