RostrumNews
Parenting in Nigeria has traditionally been rooted in strong family values, discipline, communal responsibility and the desire to provide children with a better future. However, changing social and economic realities demand that parents take a fresh look at how they raise their wards.
Providing food, clothing, education and material comfort is important, but parenting goes far beyond meeting physical needs. Children also require attention, guidance, emotional support, discipline and meaningful companionship from their parents.
One worrying trend is the gradual relegation of parental responsibilities to teachers, house-helps and other caregivers. Teachers have an important role in educating children, while house-helps may assist with domestic responsibilities, but neither should become a substitute for responsible parenting.
Parents must remain actively involved in their children's upbringing, knowing their friends, understanding their interests, monitoring their progress and paying attention to the challenges they encounter. A child may spend several hours at school, but the influence of a parent should remain constant and unmistakable.
Parents must also be careful not to sacrifice their wards' future on the altar of their careers. Building a successful career and securing financial stability are legitimate pursuits, but children should not become casualties of the pursuit of professional success.
There are situations where parents provide virtually everything materially while being physically and emotionally unavailable to their children. Money can provide opportunities, but it cannot completely replace parental presence, conversation, affection and guidance. Parents should therefore strive for a healthy balance between professional commitments and family responsibilities.
Another area that deserves serious reconsideration is the manner in which some children are raised in excessive comfort. Parents naturally want their wards to enjoy a better life than they did, but shielding children from every difficulty may leave them inadequately prepared for adulthood.
Children should gradually learn that life involves both pleasant and challenging seasons. They need to develop patience, responsibility, resilience, problem-solving abilities and the understanding that success sometimes requires perseverance. Giving a child everything without teaching the value of effort may unintentionally make the person vulnerable when circumstances become difficult.
This does not mean that parents should deliberately make life unnecessarily difficult for their children. Rather, children should be taught the value of work, discipline, delayed gratification and responsible decision-making. They should understand that failure is not necessarily the end of the road and that challenges can be overcome through determination, learning and appropriate support.
A child who is taught how to navigate reasonable difficulties is more likely to approach adulthood with maturity and confidence rather than being overwhelmed whenever circumstances do not go according to plan.
Most importantly, Nigerian parents should endeavour to see their wards as their best friends — not in a way that eliminates appropriate parental authority, but in a manner that encourages openness and trust. Parents should create enough time to talk with their children, listen to their concerns and allow them to express themselves without unnecessary fear.
When children are comfortable discussing their experiences with their parents, the parents are more likely to notice changes in behaviour, identify emerging problems and provide timely guidance. Quality time with children should therefore be regarded as an investment, not a distraction.
The Nigerian family consequently needs a thoughtful rethink of its parenting culture. The ultimate responsibility for raising children cannot be outsourced to teachers, house-helps, schools or society. Parents must be present, intentional and actively involved in shaping the character and future of their wards.
Careers, businesses and other commitments are important, but the development of a child is a responsibility that cannot be postponed indefinitely. A generation raised with love, discipline, resilience, guidance and meaningful parental presence is more likely to grow into adults capable of confronting life's challenges and contributing positively to the society at large. Think about it.
Comrade Fred Nwaozor,Public Policy Analyst & Civil Rights Activist, can be reached via frednwaozor@gmail.com
