Tools for Human Coexistence

FOUR VITAL TOOLS AVAILABLE FOR HUMAN COEXISTENCE


Brethren, for human beings to coexist harmoniously irrespective of the nature of the relationship and their individual status, there must be certain tools/parameters that should not be taken for granted. And they are: kindness, appreciation, commendation, and apology.

During the creation of mankind, he was furnished (garnished) with various idiosyncrasies that discharge the above spices/recipes to ensure the sustenance of human existence.

Let’s take our time to factor out the basic definitions of the stated tools considering the context this edition is representing, or where the writer is coming from. Kindness is the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful. Appreciation is the expression of gratitude over a certain kind gesture displayed by someone. Commendation is the praise(s) someone receives from someone else or group of persons due to the remarkable act displayed by him. While, apology is something that you say or write in order to tell someone that you’re sorry for having hurt him or caused him trouble.

Let me begin with kindness. In a nutshell, this really has to do with caring; and caring is affection, help, and sympathy. So for one to be referred to as a caring person, he must be affectionate, helpful and sympathetic. We must try to showcase our caring quality to each other at all times. That’s where love comes in. Thus, we should ensure that we love our fellow creatures. This’s why the Holy Bible instructs every living soul to love his neighbour like himself (1Jn 4:7-8). We must respect the Almighty because He’s the Supreme Being, and as well good. In other words, if you truly love yourself, you must ensure that everyone around you is treated with kindness. You shouldn’t be selfish or greedy. You can only boast that you love someone when his/her happiness is very important to you. And, it’s only love that can ascertain unity. If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t be united. Frankly speaking, most social ills or deviant acts experienced in our society today are not unconnected to lack of love. Therefore, we must cultivate the habit of being kind for the betterment of any society we find ourselves.

I wish to switch over to appreciation. This factor may carry a definition different from the one stated above depending on the context of the debate or deliberation. In this edition, we actually mean, the discharge of gratitude. Many are yet to embrace the importance of this tool (appreciation). Phrases such as, “Thank you, God bless you, or may God reward you,” may seem meaningless to us, but they’re deeply meaningful. If you receive any gift from someone, don’t hesitate to say, thank you or any of the above. You’ll lose nothing if you discharge such phrase, rather, it’ll add a lot to what you already have. Believe it because it’s a fact. Honestly, a sincere gift comes from the heart. And anything that comes from or lies in the heart is being controlled by love because love is an action of the heart. So no matter how little a gift might be, don’t fail to appreciate it. Even if you don’t like the gift, do not allow your countenance to inform the donor that you’re not comfortable with it. In this case, the most mature thing to do is to accept the gift with a cheerful look which would automatically shows that you welcome the kind gesture. Having collected the gift, you may have someone else around you who would cherish the item more than you expect. We all are not same or equal, by choice or material possession respectively. That’s how we were created; naturally, we’re being guided by such rule or phenomenon. Such approach (appreciation) is also applicable if one does something nice to you or any of your relatives.

Let’s talk about commendation. The similarity between this and appreciation is that both lay emphasis on eulogies. But the difference lies in the language, and the occasion at which they’re required. Commendation is used when the effort or kind gesture is received either directly or indirectly. That is, sometimes you may not have any personal dividend from the effort (gesture). For instance, when a brother or cousin of yours just finished building his home or place of residence, courtesy demands that you go to him and say, well done! Such effort could only be beneficial to you indirectly. But the fact remains that, there’s no personal benefit attached to it. Thus, unlike appreciation which goes or comes up only when the gesture in question is beneficial to your person, commendation could be used/cited in various circumstances. In other words, commendation could be used in several kinds of circumstances. Summarily, we ought to continually commend (appreciate) one another; our siblings, parents, children, and/or leaders. You can even commend yourself each time you undergo something challenging.

Let’s take a ride to apology; the last on my list, but not the least. In the same vein, the phrase “I’m sorry,” should be the action of the mind and heart, and not that of the mind alone. Meaning; it has to do with reasoning and total submission. Apology usually comes or set in when one must have done something wrong. And, it’s only a reasonable person that realizes when something is or goes wrong. That’s where mind comes in. But there’s more attached to the action of the mind, which is honesty and compassion. And, this’s the action of the heart. You don’t just say ‘sorry’ each time you go wrong because you feel that would soothe the mood of the recipient. In addition, you’ve to express that with extreme sincerity. It’s only a sincere apology that showcases true remorse. And a true remorse shows that, such would not repeat itself. Let me quickly draw your attention to a very remarkable scene of one of the American (Hollywood’s) seasonal films, Prison Break, I took my time to watch; in that scene, one of the characters states that, “If you wanna restore dignity, you need to take action. Making amends requires much more than saying, I’m sorry. It means learning to change. The most important thing is that, you display honesty, courage and compassion when you extend your apologies. You need to earn your forgiveness…” Let’s always embrace the use of sincere apology which has the tendency of saving many from apoplexy. More so, one can say that he’s sorry even when he truly knows that he never did something wrong to the partner in question. Mind you, ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t really mean that you were wrong; it simply means that you adore the friendship/relationship and would never want to lose it.

Brethren, I bet you, our entire existence here on earth can never be successful and fruitful as we anticipate if we fail to embrace the four tools/parameters discussed above. Honestly I’m not here to mesmerized your mood, but to put you in the right direction. Think about it!

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FRED D.N NWAOZOR

frednwaozor@gmail.com